NSFW Sunday Desires Lesbian Friends With Positive | Autostraddle

[
highlighted picture via maurizio di iorio
]

It seems that it’s simply
“not that quick” for males and ladies getting “friends with advantages” or to have “no strings attached
.” This idea is actually a hot topic nowadays, as a result of country’s enjoyment relating to “No Strings With Benefits,” the remake of the Natalie Portman/Ashton Kutcher initial from early in the day this year, this time around featuring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake.

Exactly what about lesbians?

A long time ago I’d a habit to getting into these situations with “straight women” — the absence of strings ended up being implicit from inside the relationship because demonstrably a straight girl wasn’t in search of an union with a female. Particularly when she currently had a boyfriend. All the crisis, all of the sex, and nothing of the commitment! It really is magical/excruciating.

Although I caution against following or
falling obsessed about
or
confessing the love for a directly woman
and just have never done so myself, directly women are superb fun as friends-with-benefits as long as you will keep how you feel contained in a safe little package. “within box office,” as they say.

But
friends with benefits between two real-live lesbian ladies
or you understand, bisexual or elsewhere interested-in-ladies ladies? Many claim that its also hard because ladies have most feelings, but it’s been recognized to happen. It is possible. Often two ladies merely want to have fun! (Just like
Whitney Mixter
)

But, in articles which requires the question “why could there be no female version of grindr?”,
WildCherry argues
:

“Normally homosexual guys try everyday intercourse like a duck to liquid. Straights keep their very own inside the casual gender limits but behind the scenes it’s very typically men operating these activities. If it is kept up to 2 ladies, things come to be much less feverish.”

At Examiner.com,
The Lesbian Relationship Writer has many advice for getting buddies with benefits
, particularly “if you find yourself over her need for one to end up being faithful or call this lady on a regular basis, merely claiming “I said i did not desire something significant,” does not get you off the hook.”

Ashley at Diffuse5.com
has some tips
from a lesbian perspective but more importantly, Dara Nai at AfterEllen finds an easy way to talk about sex on AfterEllen together with her breakdown of

Friends With Benefits

entitled
Everyone Want Friends With Benefits
:

”

Friends with Advantages goes When Harry Met Sally one better. Versus asking whether men and women tends to be simply friends, it assumes they’re able to nowadays. Practical question in 2011 is: Can friends have sexual intercourse and never fall-in love, or worse, screw-up the friendship? Really, sh-t howdy, lesbians are inquiring ourselves that for many years.”

In September 2009,
The New York occasions published an article also known as “what exactly do ladies wish”
about what converts ladies in, focusing initially on a research of feminine need performed by respected researcher Meredith Chivers. She did experiments which involved viewing different sorts of porno, and found that although guys responded genitally in “class particular” ways (direct men like direct pornography, etc) that:

“no real matter what their own self-proclaimed intimate orientation, [women] revealed, on the whole, powerful and quick penile arousal as soon as the display screen granted males with guys, females with women and ladies with guys.”

Moreover, whenever it found discrepencies between the subject matter’s reported arousal (that they penned about) as well as their real arousal (which had been assessed by fancy medical resources attached to different key areas of the body):

“…with the ladies, particularly the right women, brain and genitals felt hardly to fit in with alike individual. The indication through the plethysmograph and the keypad just weren’t in much agreement. During shots of lesbian coupling, heterosexual ladies reported significantly less exhilaration than their particular vaginas suggested; viewing gay guys, they reported a good deal much less; and viewing heterosexual sexual intercourse, they reported a great deal more. On the list of lesbian volunteers, the two indication converged when women showed up throughout the display screen. But when the flicks included only men, the lesbians reported less involvement as compared to plethysmograph taped.”

Your whole post is fascianting, in reality, nevertheless important part is this research could “shift how ladies view their unique ability to get turned on.” Or possibly perhaps not:

“…sometimes Chivers talked as though the particular woodland wasn’t noticeable after all, as if the difficulties happened to be an indication less of intrinsic intricacy than of social efforts to manage feminine eros, of cultural constraints which have kept women’s lust dampened, distorted, inaccessible to comprehension. “many societies have actually rather rigorous requirements regulating female sexuality,” she said. “If that sexuality is fairly passive, subsequently the reason why numerous guidelines to control it? Exactly why is it thus terrifying?” There is the implication, inside her words, that she might never ever illuminate the woman topic because she could not also find it, that the data she along with her co-workers gather might be misleading, might represent just the productions of culture, and this her interpretations could be top far from underlying fact. There was the intimation that, at its key, ladies’ sexuality is probably not passive anyway. There was clearly the opportunity your long reputation of worry might have tucked the nature of females’s lust also significantly to unearth, to see.”

Sometime while seeking website links on this subject subject I finished up as of this syllabus for a category called
University Sex & Philosophy: Buddies with Benefits
and in some way after that wound up on this list of
Go Ask Alice
guidance questions relating to LGBTQ issues and that I believe you want that too. Its like we are taking a journey on the internet collectively.

Finally, some other person thinks
buddies with benefits is medically impossible
, however from the thing I study of it, i do believe this some body is quite incorrect.

SWEET TUMBLR ALERT:

Freckled

:
Devoted to your love of freckled females
.

PRETTY PHOTOGRAPHY ALERT FROM CHD-WCK.COM:

CHD-WK!
: In Her Very Own Surface

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